Thread: Share a joke with us.

Yeah, this thread is too hilarious. I need to come up with a joke to post fast. Isn't it great when you read a joke on your computer and start laughing and then everyone else in the room stares at you because they have no idea what's so funny?

Here's another joke...

A man is walking along a deserted beach when suddenly he hears a deep voice from Above.

"DIG!" it says.
He looks around, but there's nobody there. I must be imagining this, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again:
"I SAID, DIG!"
So he starts digging with his bare hands, pushing away the sand. A short way down he uncovers a small chest with a rusty lock.
"OPEN IT," commands the deep voice.
OK, the man thinks, Ill open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally opened, he sees a gleaming pile of gold coins.
"TAKE THEM TO THE CASINO," the deep voice says.
Well, says the man to himself, the casino is just ten minutes walk away, why not? He changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables, where the players gaze at him with disbelief. Now he hears the deep voice saying:
"27, PUT IT ALL ON 27."
He takes his heavy pile of tokens and drops it at the 27. The table groans under the weight. You can hear a pin drop as the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.
The deep voice says: "SHIT!"

Up at the gates of St. Peter, there were two new arrivals. A preacher, and a taxi cab driver.

So, the preacher introduces himself to St. Peter first. "I am a disciple of god, and I have served him my entire life. Every Sunday, I would be in church spreading the love of God to everyone." St. Peter looks for his name, and finds it. "I see. You get a mansion on the second level."

At this point, the taxi cab driver introduces himself. "I''m not a preacher like that other guy, I'm only a taxi cab driver, but I try to do a good deed every time I can." St. Peter looks for his name, and he finds it. "Okay. You get a mansion on the tenth level."

The preacher is dumbfounded. "Hey, wait a minute!" He says. "I've worked for God my entire life, and he's just a taxi driver. How come he gets a mansion so close to God?"

St. Peter closes his book. "Because when you preached, everyone slept. And when he drove, everyone prayed."

hahaha., nice joke there!

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

a vampire walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what'll he have.. the vampire says, "a hot cup of water".. but the bartender asks, "but you're a vampire, don't you drink blood?" then the vampire reached into his coat, pulled out a used tampon, and says, "Tea Time !"(яιαηηα/yahooanswers)

Very nice joke.it is really good...

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man Walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in Single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when The dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first One asks in excitement , "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Join the queue. "

Wakakakaka....... it is so funny. You make me stomach ..... thank you ...